“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” – Warren Buffett
In the whirlwind of our modern lives, with the constant demands of work, relationships, and personal pursuits pulling us in every direction, it can sometimes feel impossible to maintain a sense of balance and peace. Many of us find ourselves overcommitting, spreading ourselves thin, and feeling drained as a result. But what if I told you that one simple word could hold the key to regaining control and fostering harmony in your life? That word is "no."
Over the past few weeks, I've covered the importance of setting boundaries and establishing a work-life balance. Today I want to dive into a topic I believe to be the crucial of the three, yet is often the most overlooked way to establish boundaries and balance, saying no. Now those who know me know that I am in "go mode" 100% of the time 7 days a week. I don't sit still, I'm always on the go, always working, and always thinking of ways to be creative, expand, learn, and help people. I've gone from days where I've worked myself into exhaustion and the ER room because of balancing work, business, organizations, and personal life, to days where I ended my day before noon so I could recharge and pour into myself. Taking that time to pour into myself allowed me to in turn pour into my business and other obligations the way they needed me to from a place of creativity, passion, purpose, and efficiency without feeling behind and burned out. And all of this was achieved because I tapped into myself and fully embraced my favorite two-letter word: NO.
Embracing this word will truly transform your life and here's how.
Setting Boundaries for a Healthier Life
Imagine: It's 4:00 pm on a Friday, and you're in the office getting ready to clock out of work in time to get ready for your dinner date and night out with your friends. You're excited for what's to come. You have your outfit for the night in your head. You can smell and taste the food and drinks you're about to have in your mind. You're 5 seconds from hitting that Paycom button to clock out..... and an email comes in from your boss asking you to stay late. Your heart sinks and you feel the excitement ebbing away. Sound Familiar?
Imagine: You've taken on the maximum number of clients and speaking engagements that you typically allow for yourself for the month. You're a little overwhelmed, but it's manageable because you have your task and deadline list created and everything is going as planned. Suddenly, you get a phone call with a personal request from a family/friend that they need you to create something for them because their deadline has passed and they have no clue what they are doing. You know your timetable is about to be thrown out the window, and you'll be pinched for time, but you also don't want to leave that family/friend hanging. You feel the pressure. What do you do?
Learning to say no is a powerful skill that can have a profound impact on both your personal life and your business. By setting boundaries and asserting your limits, you are safeguarding your time, energy, and overall well-being. Boundaries are that invisible fence in your personal and business life that helps to keep you energized, balanced, and at peace. They maintain efficiency and increase productivity.
Saying no is not about being selfish or uncooperative; it is about respecting yourself and your needs enough to know when to decline requests or opportunities that do not align with your priorities.
The Power and Fear of Saying No
Saying no can be a challenge and something you deep down struggle with . . . you want to please everyone. Stop It. At the end of the day, you can't please everyone. If the sun goes down, and you find that you won't be pleased, is it even worth it? Trust me, I get it. What we fear is not the word "No". We fear letting others down, missed opportunities, upsetting family/friends or clients, and being perceived as uncooperative or mean. Shame on yourself for feeling that and shame on others for putting that guilt on you. Saying no doesn't make you uncooperative or difficult or mean. Knowing when and how to say no makes you strong, it makes you professional, it means you have self-awareness of what you can and cannot do. Listen to your intuition. Follow it.
It's essential to remember that saying no is not a rejection of the person or job making the request but rather a prioritization of your own needs. When you approach saying no from a place of honesty and kindness, you can maintain relationships while still upholding your boundaries.
Saying no is a form of self-care. It allows you to focus on what truly matters to you, whether it's spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing a passion project, taking on a client or new task, or simply taking a moment to rest and recharge. When you say no to things that do not serve you, you create space for the things that do.
Balancing Personal and Professional Life
In the business world, the ability to say no is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. It can prevent burnout, improve productivity, and foster respect from colleagues and clients. Setting boundaries in the workplace shows that you value your time and expertise, and it encourages others to do the same.
As fun and empowering as it can be to say no, let's talk about how to effectively and skillfully say no.
Strategies for Saying No Effectively
Be Clear and Assertive: When saying no, be direct and concise. Communicate your reasons for declining without resorting to excuses or apologies.
Early Communication: Communicate clearly and as early in the process as possible. This establishes your limits upfront.
Be Firm: Stand your ground and be firm. Be straightforward with what you will and will not do while maintaining a kind and polite approach.
Offer Alternatives: If you're unable to fulfill a request, offer alternative solutions or suggest a compromise that works better for you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that it's okay to prioritize yourself. Saying no is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of self-awareness and strength.
The Art of the Skillful No
Now anyone can truly say no when they have had enough, but it takes practice and skill to say no and still maintain your professionalism and sense of self. What if I told you that saying no doesn't have to be that taboo thing that happens and everyone assumes the worst or feels offended at the end of a no, and you don't have to feel guilty for being the giver of no's? Take a look at my list of examples of how you can skillfully say no:
Someone Wants Free Work
No, because I value our friendship and/or family relationship and I’d rather not mix business with pleasure.
I can’t afford to offer freebies or take on unpaid work right now.
I can't afford to take on unpaid work right now, however, would you be interested in bartering services? (This is an interesting tactic that can be used to network as well.)
Work Overload or Wrong Client
I’d love to work on this project with you, but I’m currently at capacity. I can follow up with you in _____ time when my calendar will open up.
I’d love to work on this project with you, but I’m currently at capacity. Would you like to consider joining my waitlist?
I'd love to work on this project with you, but I'm currently at capacity. I can refer you to someone else if your needs are more time-sensitive.
Thank you for considering me and my business for this project.
Requested Work Outside The Boundaries or Scope of the Agreement
With all due respect, we only agreed upon _____ deliverables. If you would also like ______, I will need to charge you separately for this.
As agreed upon in the proposal and contract, _________, this is what is to be completed by _______ timeline. For anything additional, we will have to draft an updated contract and a separate charge for it.
A Client/Potential Client Who Wants To Pay Less Than Your Rate
Due to the time spent and resources used for a project like this, I can not charge below [$ amount] for this level of service.
Services No Longer Being Offered
To best serve my clients, I am no longer offering ______, so that I can focus on _____. Let me know if I can help you in that way instead.
Someone Is Not A Great Fit
Thank you for thinking of me, however, I’m not the best choice for this sort of work. I focus mostly on _____ and _____, so if you’re looking for ______, I can point you towards the right people.
Unfortunately, because of ________, I think we are no longer a match for this kind of work.
Unfortunately, because of ________, we are no longer in alignment with our contract. I believe we are no longer a match for each other.
Embracing Peace Through Saying No
By embracing the art of saying no, you can create a life filled with more balance, harmony, and peace. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being is not a selfish act but a necessary one. Remember, you have the power to shape your life according to your values and goals. Saying no is simply a way to honor that power and live authentically.
The Journey to Empowerment
As you practice saying no and asserting your boundaries, you'll likely discover a newfound sense of empowerment and clarity. You'll cultivate a deeper understanding of your needs and wants, leading to more meaningful connections and fulfilling experiences. Saying no is not a limitation—it's a liberation.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stretched thin, remember the transformative power of that simple, two-letter word: no. By embracing the skillful art of saying no, you can create a life of balance, boundaries, and peace—one that aligns with your truest self and deepest desires. Say no with confidence, say no with compassion, and watch as your life transforms in ways you never imagined.
The Takeaway
Your time is your most valuable resource, protect it. Saying ‘no’ to one thing means saying ‘yes’ to something else. It's an opportunity to say yes to creating more space in your life, whether that’s for rest, family/friends, creative pursuits, business/work.
Setting boundaries isn't just about saying no. It's about creating a business life that's not only successful but also sustainable and joyful.
"NO" is and can be a complete sentence in itself, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
I hope this post provides valuable insight into the importance of saying not to maintain your balance, boundaries, and peace. Follow my page for more great tips on how you can be successful.
Olivia Jade Kelly
Visions of Jade, LLC
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